Sometimes it takes longer.. Than you want, for your dreams to come true.

It’s true, it’s true. Especially when you’re a big ass visionary, who sees things WAY into the future.

Are you a visionary? Have you had visions, of communities, and families and houses, spread across the earth living in harmony with nature and with each other.

Have you had visions of yourself, leading, sharing, communicating, and transforming peoples lives? Have you seen yourself doing things you’ve never done before but always wish you had? I bet you have. And that’s because you are a visionary.  I know this, because I’m a visionary, and I know I came here to talk to people who have visions like this.  People like me.  People like you, and you. And you..

And I know it gets frustrating as hell when your dreams don’t come true fast enough.

It fucking sucks doesn’t it.
You get all excited, start telling all your friends, get on your social media, and then. Then what happens?
A month goes by, and you’ve still got that muffin top.
Shit. I mean we’ve all done it.  I did sit ups for 4 days straight, where’s my freaking 6 pack abs man??!!?!
But all humor aside, it takes time to create things, it takes time for those visions to come into reality, it takes time for you and me to become the people we’ve always imagined ourselves to be.
Take me for example.  This is me, almost 4 years to the day. I seem to have.. Forgotten to put pants on when I went to walk my 2.5 year old boy to sleep.. I’m Alone.  Again.  Still.
A friend of mine snapped this shot one day, I walked there almost every day just like this. But with pants.. Hehe.  I didn’t find out he’d taken it until months later, and he showed me, and I cried when I saw it.  I  cried because it was a true moment.  Because I had all kinds of selfies, and videos, of me being excited and talking a good fucking game.  But at that time in my life, I was struggling.  Look at my face.  This is not an accident that my face looks like this in this photo.  This is because that’s what I looked like then. I was grumpy, disconnected, and depressed.
At that point in my life, I KNEW clearly what my future life path would be, I knew I would share JoyGasm, I knew I would recover.. on some levels.. But on other levels, life was torturous hell.  That resulted in the moment above.
If you’re watching this far, and you’re a visionary, I can bet you $10, nah $100, that you’ve felt the strings of depression pull on your heart at some point in your life.  You’ve felt that voice of doubt creep in. That nagging feeling that you were wrong, that your vision was no good, that you’re destined to be a failure, not a success..  and that nothing you EVER do will come to fruition.  Do you have voices like that in your head?  I know I do.  They told me not to make this, and once I made it, they told me not to post it.

Because as a visionary, we have two major forces at work within us all the time.  ALL THE TIME..

One, is the voice of the bright future, calling us forward.  The other, despises change, and wants to stay safe.  These two voices speak to each other, and more often than not, one of them wins.
Which one wins, depends on you.  Depends on your present moment awareness of the fact that this dialog is going on, and which side you decide to play on.   And you can change sides.. All you want.. Monday, go team vision… Tuesday.. Fuck this shit.. Wednesday.. This might work… Thursday… we’re gonna rock it.. Friday.. Yes let’s go! Saturday.. I hate my life.. Saturday evening. Okay! Back on target!  You know the drill, you’ve done it.. Hundreds, maybe thousands of times.. And that’s just in this life, this body, this business.  It’s a part of the human condition.  And yet I’m going to tell you something right now that is going to change the way you look at this condition forever..

See there’s a certain point on every visionaries journey.  A point where everything changes.

Do you know what that point is?  Malcom Gladwell calls it the tipping point.  Now you might be thinking, that’s the point in a speaker’s career where they start getting calls from conference ASKING them to speak… or when they get really comfortable selling 10k packages from stage and their sales quadruple overnight, or when they get signed for their third book deal.  You might be tempted to think that THAT’S the tipping point.  But it’s not.    No… No… The real tipping point. It doesn’t happen out there, not with crowds, or amazon best sellers, or VIP retreats. Those things are a symptom. A really great feeling symptom of the real tipping point.
The real tipping point… It happens… It happens in here. (point to the heart). And when it happens in HERE. Something changes.  You see one thing manifest, and something clicks inside of you. OH. I saw that coming, and here it is.  It doesn’t even have to be something you like.  It could be like loosing your keys, or hitting your head.  You saw it coming, and you own it.

OWN IT!  Deep into your soul. That you saw it coming, and it happened.

In that moment.  Epiphany. You own your power as a powerful creator.  And that tipping point I was talking about, that’s the moment where you realize that you created it, and that means.. That means.. That MEANS.. That your other vision is about to come true too.  Inevitable.  Undeniable.  Now you might have had this moment in your life, and be saying to me “yeah Elena, I’m a master manifestor and all, but I still doubt myself, I mean that BIG vision, it’s pretty big.. I might be wrong on it.”


If you are, awesome, claim it ALL. Every single moment of it.  If you did that little one, can you do the big one.  Hell yes!  So it’s time to get your daily energy right behind it, like it’s inevitable. When you give meaning to little moments like that, and USE THEM.. To help you remember that you’ve got the universe at your back, and it’s delivering big dreams just like it’s delivering little dreams.  Like every time you leave the house, and then come back because you remembered you forgot something on the kitchen table. That’s a miracle, that’s you being intuitive, connected to your source, and a visionary, and it’s a sign of your power, and it’s a sign your dreams are coming true.  If you let it be. 
So I want you to take a moment now, because I like transformational experiences, and I want to offer you one right now.  I want to take a moment right now with you, and close your eyes, and remember a time, when you KNOW you manifested something.  You visioned it, you saw it coming, and BOOM.. It happened.  Doesn’t matter how long it took to show up, it showed up, and you KNEW to the core of your being it was because YOU asked for it.  Let me know when you’ve got that memory by saying a big old YES>> YES>> YES>>
Awesome.. So now that you’ve got it.  I want you to think about your big dream.  You know what I’m talking about, the scary huge one, the vision for your life, for how we’re all going to live on the planet, for unity and humanity, and for your part in that dazzling game.
And I want you to see, that that little manifestation, as proof of your big one.  As the proof, that your big dream is on it’s way.

That’s what all those little moments mean, they mean you are on track, and they are there to remind you of the inevitability of the big one dream.

When you remember that, then you’re golden.  Rolling into that future life, like you’re loving life along the way, and having a grand old adventure, with life winking at you every day, for a thousand little things.

How do you actually find time for you?

Somedays the kids drive you crazy! It's the little things we do EVERY DAY that support you or leave you exhausted.  You get angry at them when they fight, complain, or ask for your attention CONSTANTLY.   It feels like it's never ending.  

You know you need to take time for yourself... but when?
How? Video yoga at home with kids around? Ya right!

I hear you. 

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Still here? Maybe you need some background on why I'm sharing this...

As a single parent for many years, I know what it's like to live in daily overwhelm that seems it will never end.

After suffering from severe post-partum depression for 7 years, and an abusive relationship that I couldn't seem to quit, I developed a case of seriously self destructive self talk about being a "horrible mother". I knew I needed to do something different, but couldn't seem to shake old patterns.

I took every personal development class that came my way for 3 years straight.  3 day weekend intensives 3x month. After a while started to experiment with the few things that HAD been working to bring me more peace, and combined them into one power packed (and quick) experience, to help find that inner peace, and make progress towards my goal of ACTUALLY feeling good.

I built the first brain training track after listening to a John Asaraf course.  Things started changing for me in a big way and with these tracks I've been able to stop experiencing irrational anger towards my first child (who I had medical birth bonding trauma).  I'm no longer experiencing mental health challenges, attracted a wonderful man into my life who is a great father to her son so much more I dreamed of.

Now I spend my days writing, baby tending and helping other mothers  manage and reduce their stress, build healthier relationships, stop sounding like their mothers, and live lives they once only dreamed of.

I put the best, worst and naughtiest of it into this epic 444 page memoir to help myself and you recover from the culturally normalized rape that is all to rampant in the world right now.

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Mr. D and the Joygasm Queen

If you've ever loved and lost, you know that in the aftermath of a broken heart, nothing seems worthwhile.  

This book is a vulnerable, raw exploration of the 21st Century shadow of "failed nuclear family" and takes you on a journey to heal your own heart, brain, and body from the pain of feeling alone in a world that doesn't seem to care. 

I offers "what actually worked" for me to heal from the inside out all while traveling the world as a single mom-preneur.