All, Interviews, Self Love

Tamara Ward on Self Love

JoyGasm is asking Conscious Leaders to share their practices of Self Love​ that help them stay strong, focused and powerful as they champion their mission to change the world. 

If you only had 10 minutes a day for Self Care, what would you DO?

Elena HarderJoyGasm Founder and Self Love Expert

The "Feeling when you get there" is totally true.  I love Tamara's truth and reality that it's not always easy to find that space, but we all uniquely know what gets us there.  From there, enjoy the journey, and thank her later!  I've had the pleasure of getting to know Tamara in person and her wit never ceases to amuse and amaze me.  

What is your take on self-love? Why is it important, and what's the most powerful way you've found to do it?

Self love is where one values themselves enough to make themselves a priority in their own life. Fill your cup so you have something to offer others. The best way to do it is to first evaluate what they need most in their life to put them in motion to achieving it.

Boundary setting, self nurture time, removing the fear of change, and “control” often comes up, so redirecting their awareness to controlling their response rather than trying to control the situation supports them in that.

What is your biggest struggle in your relationships right now?

Not having a romantic relationship for five years, I’m deferring to my “friend” experiences.

My personal relationships struggle when I over extend myself for my friend and then feel resentful when (I feel) its not appreciated or reciprocated.

How has that changed since you started learning about self-love?

Self love has taught that if I’ve made the choice to extend myself for my friend, then I honor that. I honor my choice and my actions as a result. I love myself enough to not focus on how they respond, rather I accept my role and my choices

What's the most important skill you've learned to help you deal with the challenges of being in relationships?

Boundaries & compassion

What has been the biggest unexpected challenge you've had in creating your great work in the world?

I’m finding that people love to talk about their misery, explore it and analyze it, but very few want to do something about it, nor pay for the support in doing it.

How do you actually find time for you?

Somedays the kids drive you crazy! It's the little things we do EVERY DAY that support you or leave you exhausted.  You get angry at them when they fight, complain, or ask for your attention CONSTANTLY.   It feels like it's never ending.  

You know you need to take time for yourself... but when?
How? Video yoga at home with kids around? Ya right!

I hear you. 

Mom Self Care needs to be simple, easy, repeatable and effective.  

That's why I've brought together all the best tools for transformation of psyche that I've encountered, combined with bio-hacking and ancient tantric breath.  Learning joygasmic secrets opens new ways to deal with ancestral trauma. becomes simple as you bio-hack your way  through the nervous system regulation trial that is life as mother.

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Still here? Maybe you need some background on why I'm sharing this...

As a single parent for many years, I know what it's like to live in daily overwhelm that seems it will never end.

After suffering from severe post-partum depression for 7 years, and an abusive relationship that I couldn't seem to quit, I developed a case of seriously self destructive self talk about being a "horrible mother". I knew I needed to do something different, but couldn't seem to shake old patterns.

I took every personal development class that came my way for 3 years straight.  3 day weekend intensives 3x month. After a while started to experiment with the few things that HAD been working to bring me more peace, and combined them into one power packed (and quick) experience, to help find that inner peace, and make progress towards my goal of ACTUALLY feeling good.

I built the first brain training track after listening to a John Asaraf course.  Things started changing for me in a big way and with these tracks I've been able to stop experiencing irrational anger towards my first child (who I had medical birth bonding trauma).  I'm no longer experiencing mental health challenges, attracted a wonderful man into my life who is a great father to her son so much more I dreamed of.

Now I spend my days writing, baby tending and helping other mothers  manage and reduce their stress, build healthier relationships, stop sounding like their mothers, and live lives they once only dreamed of.

I put the best, worst and naughtiest of it into this epic 444 page memoir to help myself and you recover from the culturally normalized rape that is all to rampant in the world right now.

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If you've ever loved and lost, you know that in the aftermath of a broken heart, nothing seems worthwhile.  

This book is a vulnerable, raw exploration of the 21st Century shadow of "failed nuclear family" and takes you on a journey to heal your own heart, brain, and body from the pain of feeling alone in a world that doesn't seem to care. 

I offers "what actually worked" for me to heal from the inside out all while traveling the world as a single mom-preneur.