Imagine a spiral shell. At the center the segments are tiny, but as the shell grows they get larger and larger.  The Circles of Commitment (COC) is based on the concept of this shell and the expanding sacred Fibonacci sequence. 

Each segment is a clear individual period of time, yet it is inextricably linked to the others that come before and after it.  Whether we work with it consciously or not, a lifelong commitment involves thousands of these phases.  Utilizing circles of commitment involves moving consciously together from section of time, one level of commitment, to the other.  By using mutually chosen reasonable timeframes, this concept can be used to allow you to choose exactly how and how fast you want to expand your connection. 

In contrast, the standard “white picket fence and kids” future is often called an “elevator relationship” one where once you hop on the elevator, you just keep going. You meet, stop dating others, get married, have kids, (maybe an unfortunate divorce) or end up living happily-ish ever after. The elevator keeps moving and only on one track as decided by a mass media.  Some people really want that specific track while others want to evolve their relationships differently and that is totally fine.  I encourage you to do it however it feels right for you. 

Imagine the ridiculousness of meeting somebody and going. “Wow, you seem great let’s spend the rest of our life together for no reason other than I think you’re a hottie.” (I’ve done this btw, wouldn’t recommend it.)

No wonder men (and women) pull back from commitment, when there’s so little evidence to be able to make such a vast decision on. This is part of why the 100 Questions to Fall in Love and COC are so helpful. 

For healthy, expanding love it’s important to be able to know and dialog around the relationship you really want to be in.  To determine what exactly you are committing too, and for how long.

Regardless of whether you haven’t met him yet, are just starting out or are years into a marriage, you can and should talk openly and clearly with your partner about what you’re hoping the relationship will be in the next 3, 6 and 12 months.

If you are in a new relationship, it’s important to recognize that talking about those big dreams, does NOT mean they will actually happen with this person.  Having big conversations about your future dreams can be an exhilarating part of early relationship.  Or it can show you that this relationship is likely not a good idea, and give you the opportunity to get out before you’ve invested too much time.  It’s important to remember that in that first 1-12 months of relationship you are just feeling them out to see if they’ll be a good fit for what you want. If they aren’t, remember your dreams don’t have to die. Be grateful for the opportunity to clarify what you do and don’t want, and then find someone who matches even better and try again.

If you’re in an established relationship, COC can be used to make conscious changes to the areas of your life that could use improvement.  Whether that’s premature ejaculation, your lack of a sex life, the wild orgasms you feel are possible for you or exploring wanting to move on.  Using small circles of commitment allows you to talk about your relationship transitions where you move from from one version of “you and me” to a different experience of “you and me”.  Regardless of whether or not you end up staying with your partner or moving on to the next one, the growth you do through consciously having the uncomfortable conversations and doing the inner inquiry is the golden ticket that allows you to experience the next level of embodiment of your pleasure goddess self. Lean into the challenge, breathe, check your projections and expectations and you will grow.

The Circles of Commitment concept allows you to expand naturally towards your big dreams of a conscious committed relationship in whatever speed and whatever manner makes most sense to you both. 

In the first month talk about what you imagine your future to look like.  While you do this feel your body as you/they talk about the future.  If it feels open and expansive that’s great!  If it feels worried then bring those things up. Seeing how your potential future partner handles those worries is crucial information about how they will handle future challenges. By clearly sharing your desires and expectations in that first month it will save you a lot of heartache down the road. You are consciously building a great foundation for your relationship.  

Especially if you’re looking for a long term conscious relationship having these conversations will give you real life experience about how this person handles conflict, growth opportunities, commitment and challenge. This is all crucial data that will let you know whether the person that you’re talking about having a relationship with is actually capable of the kind of communication that is required in order to have healthy long term love. 

You might be wondering what does the circle of commitment look? 

The first commitment is one to talk to get to know each other to see what each of you is actually dreaming of having and being in your future relationship. This is just as applicable if you are starting a new relationship as it is if you are re-kindling or trying to rescue a dull marriage you’ve tuned out from.  

NOTE: Other people may be searching for casual romance, excitement in their life, a cuddle buddy, or a sexy friend.  That makes the questions and the commitments you are making with each other really different (see the Safer Sex Elevator Speech Chapter).  Actually this possibility makes it even more crucial to ask pointed and powerful questions to avoid broken hearts, unmet expectations or mis-matched commitment levels.  

It’s powerful to say “Let us spend the next month (online) dating like we’ve put our whole hearts into this relationship, get to know what we are hoping for, expecting and desiring.  We can then check in, see if that’s even a match and see if we want to deepen our commitment at the end of the month.”  Especially for men, these clear expectations and boundaries are really helpful in dealing with those who don’t want to commit, or are looking for something really different than you are. 

When I birthed this concept I was a jaded and heartbroken 33 year old woman with a 9 year old son, 6 ex-boyfriends under my belt since my son was born and a handful of one night stands with “eligible hotties” that had turned into nothing. 

I was feeling the biological pressure to “find Mr. Right and make the babies I always dreamed of” right freaking now. I didn’t want to mess around with another 9 month journey with a soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, so it was super important for me to ask questions to clarify whether “this hot tinder dude” was:

  1. interesting to me
  2. interested in me, 
  3. wanted something similar to what I wanted in the future, 
  4. was open to the idea of co-parenting my 9 year old
  5. excited to have kids
  6. had processed his past trauma
  7. was actually willing to commit and show up to those shared dreams
  8. showed that he could actually do that and work on issues that came up
  9. capable of fathering kindly in real life situations
  10. After 6 months in the trenches of co-parenting still wanted to stick around to make those OTHER dreams come true.

The timeline on that “getting to know you” conversation can be a week, three months or three years, depending on what you’re both wanting for the speed of developing your relationship.  

If you’re already living together and working on some issues recognize that this can take longer.  Lets face it, the hassles of daily life, kids, jobs will get in the way.

If you’ve just met you’ll likely be chomping at the bit to have these conversations. Good!  

A) If you’ve already got an interesting prospect you’re talking to – Download the 100 questions to fall in love

B) No good prospects in sight? Head over to “What I really want”

C) Playing along? Turn the page…

What does it take to have your your wildest dreams come true? Clarity, persistence, bravery, patience, and aligning with the power of joygasmic syncro-destiny. I had wanted to go to Afest since I heard about it. In 2015 I got my courage together and applied. They kindly said I wasn’t afest material. I was sad.

Later I traveled from my “home” in Indonesia to Kuala Lumpur on trip to renew my travel visa. I figured while I was there I would visit the headquarters of MindValley anyways. <clarity> They were one of my hero companies. A personal development & marketing company I had been following for years.

I under-prepared for my drive from Ubud to the airport and was 30 minutes late by the time I got to the gate. I remember running as fast as I could down long empty hallways. The plane was also late and I arrived as they were boarding. <syncro-destiny>

I got off the plane in Kuala Lumpur not actually knowing where Mindvalley was. No problem. I google mapped the building location and when I got there (after missing my train stop, and reading the map incorrectly) <persistence> I was dismayed to not find a giant sign at street level saying “Mindvalley”. lol

I stood in the street, wondering how I would find them. <patience>

I located a blonde lady who I guessed was likely being an employee and asking her if she worked there. I told her I wanted to visit and express my gratitude for their work, but that I wasn’t able to figure out which building it was in. <bravery> She said told me which tower, and the floor number. YES!

I did not have an appointment, but I said yes when the impressive front desk security asked if I did, praying they wouldn’t actually check. I reluctantly handed my passport to them as ID collateral for entering the building. <bravery>

I made my way to the correct floor and I arrived at a glass door that had the words “Mindvalley > Push humanity forward” on it. I had arrived.

I could see through the glass the inside of the office but I knew that MY thumb was not going to unlock that high tech door! There was a human on the other side.

I knocked on the glass and for the second time that day said “I really love the work you guys do, and I would love to say thank you to your employees!” <bravery> He looked at me like I was a bit crazy, and said, “tours are on Friday, you can book a time to come back tomorrow.” This did not deter me. “I have a return flight to Bali in about 8 hours, so tomorrow won’t work. Maybe I could just SIT in the front office and soak up the vibe?”

He told me I could sit there while he checked with someone else. Another lady came back and very coldly said “No, why don’t you go check out the local museum or butterfly park” and walked me out the door.

I knew there was NO WAY I was bluffing my way past that bottom floor security guard twice today. Or past that stern lady. I had 8 more hours to spend before my flight and I wasn’t ready to go yet.

So I sat on the floor just outside the office where the stern woman couldn’t see me. I cried a little bit about how much being rejected made me feel unworthy of actually having my dream, but then found my way back to being giddy with joy for being so close! <patience>

As people exited the office I babbled joyfully at them. <persistence> “Thank you so much for working at Mindvalley, your work has changed my life!” Several looked surprised and said you are welcome and then continued on to lunch.

The fourth employee stopped and asked what I needed. After talking for a while he invited me into the office saying he just needed to finish something up and then he could give me a full tour. I sat in the lobby waiting for him and Vishen walked through the room. <syncro-destiny>

I stopped him <bravery!> and said “excuse me, but you’re my hero, and your company had changed my life” and asked I could give him a hug. He said yes.

After the hug I quickly said “I have a return flight in about 7 hours, I was wondering if I could spend the time in your lobby just soaking up the vibe. I won’t bother anyone.” He made a quick calculation and said YES, and I knew I was in!

Later I got to say to the lady who had turned me down “Vishen said I could stay!” I felt like I was about 5 years old snobbing my nose at her. lol <karma>

I spent 5 hours in the lobby of the office chatting with people as they walked in/out. I also made some contacts within the company, got a full tour and had lunch with the woman I had applied for a job under. She picked my brain about how their marketing landed in “their ideal client” ME! I asked her what working there was like, and realized I really didn’t want to work for them anyways (big city, long hours, highrise living, pollution to name a few).

On the way through the train station on the way back to the airport a few of the humans who worked at the office stopped me because they thought I might be hungry and had bought me a fruit cup and were bringing it back to me. <syncro-destiny>

I met up with friends from Bali waiting for the plane. Back in Bali I realized I had LOST my motorbike key in Malaysia!!! OMFG. I sat in the bathroom and cried my eyes out. I felt SO stupid. I knew there had to be a way through. I had just had such an incredible day, and seen what persistence and patience could do.

I was already back in Bali, and no clue where my key was in Malaysia. I used body language and mimed to the parking attendant that I had lost my key. He handed me a box of lost keys and after a few tries I found one that worked in my bike.

Without a map and short on gas, I prayed, cried and laughed my way home saying prayers to Ganesh for removing my obstacles! I felt fully in the flow and in tune with syncro-destiny.

A thousand things could have gone wrong, and even though some of them did, they didn’t stop me from my dream. Not a single one of them could. I was unstoppable.

A few weeks later I got a marketing email from Mindvalley asking me if I had applied to awesomeness fest yet. To which I shrieked a little angrily inside. “I already applied and you rejected me… grrrrr!”

Instead of staying angry. I wrote a long email to Vishen the founder of the company, pointing out their error in their marketing funnel, and suggesting how to fix it. He remembered meeting me in the office in such a strange way. This resulted in a reply from him personally inviting me to Awesomeness Fest. The invite only conference for entrepreneurs and world changers I had dreamed of going to for years.

Longer story shorter. I went. That’s me in the front row left, riding a joygasmic bliss wave with the whole group. What kind of wild syncro-destiny stories have you experienced in your life?

For this exercise, go through and circle your first gut response answer as fast as you can on each question. 

Once you have done that, you can take the time to fill in the reasons WHY you chose the answer you did on the lines below. 

If you have a few Maybe’s or No’s, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you shouldn’t be with your partner, but they are definitely things that you need to address and speak with him about. If you’re able to use the Difficult Conversations Template and talk with him about those topics, excellent, keep committing deeper. If not, I’d seriously consider whether staying together is a good idea for you.

They listen to what you have to say and respond with appropriate action and emotion.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They are attractive to you.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They care for their body, mind and spirit.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They have resolved their family of origin issues.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They have a plan for their life that includes you.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They knows what they wants in life and are moving towards it.

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

They are committed to being with you (in a way that aligns with what you want in terms of commitment)

  Yes   No Maybe ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Are you dealing with anxiety, panic attacks or overwhelm from your workload?  How about exhaustion from having too many things to do all the time? And even when you do get the results, it often feels like a disappointment in not achieving the results…

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

Being a parent is hard.  We often live lost in a fear of judgement, fear of uncertainty and the fear of evolving.  Maybe you feel that you do not have their shit together, yet you are supposed to be the adults, parents, or leaders in your family 

If you’ve ever felt “I am overwhelmed, I have no time, I feel stuck, I feel alone.” This is for you.  We will dive into Self-reliance, Self-confidence, Self-love, Self-care and how you can set up these four foundations and how life unfolds more clearly for you afterwards. 

Conscious Parenting, Awakening of the Authentic Self, and Self-Optimisation.

Empowering parents to live their dreams and not put it on hold just because they have children now.
+ Improving their relationships around them so they do not feel like they are connected in a physical sense but disconnected at an emotional level.
+ How to nature themselves and their children to operate as a team of amazing individuals.
+ My adventures, triumphs and struggles in the above learning experiences.
+ That we do not have to do this alone, community is something we need to move back into for raising children.,

Instagram: faraaz4real
Website: http://www.aspiretoconnect.com
Courses: aspiretoconnect.teachable.com

Are you scared to make the leap into self-directed learning?  It feels scary to trust that your children will learn what they need to learn to thrive. But keeping your kids in the awful, authoritarian, bully filled, and antiquated traditional school…

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

Natalia is a Feminine Leadership Coach. She coaches women to lead using their Feminine Power. Once women discover how powerful the feminine truly is, they discover the secret to their ‘effortless power’ and stop wasting time and energy on ‘powerless effort’ that eventually burns them out, breaks down their bodies and relationships.

This is for you if you struggle with:

  • anxiety, panic attacks, overwhelm from your workload
  • exhaustion from having too many things to do all the time
  • disappointment in not achieving the results you want for your lifestyle business

What Will You Learn?

  • How to show up powerfully and have charisma out of this world
  • Create powerful relationships
  • Take powerful leaps in their business or career and break glass ceiling

What is the most important thing for us to share in our interview? How sexual energy is the fuel for all of the above and how it’s power has been hidden behind shame and poor education.

How do listeners get a hold of you?

nataliakantor.com

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

Are you scared to make the leap into homeschooling and specifically self-directed learning?  
It feels scary to trust that your children will learn what they need to learn to thrive. But keeping your kids in the antiquated, authoritarian and bully-filled traditional school system is no longer working. Traditional homeschooling / parent-led learning is a good next step but there’s an even better way. 

Being a homeschooling mom can be difficult and lonely sometimes.  It’s an overwhelming responsibility to educate one’s child.  

Lizz experienced a transformation as a worldschooling mom of 11 year old twin girls when she encountered a self-directed global online school called Galileo.  

Galileo is the innovative online global school for 8-18 year old Self-Directed Learners which gives students the freedom to learn and excel at what interests them and prepares them for the future by exposing them to entrepreneurship, technology and global citizenship.

Galileo helps children around the world learn what they are passionate about so they can learn deeper, create more, be more fulfilled, prepare for the jobs and businesses of the future, become global citizens and never lose the love of learning. 

Lizz shares how it was a huge relief off her shoulders to find a program that educates her children in a way that fits her life philosophy yet, as a busy working single mom, she doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting. Her kids are now happy, socializing with their classmates, learning tons and on their way to becoming the best future versions of themselves.  

She was so inspired with the idea of Galileo, that she joined the founding team.  She has helped with various tasks and roles including strategy, marketing, community development and on boarding new families. 

Many families are hesitant about making the leap into self-directed learning (also known as unschooling) and nervous about trusting that their children will learn what they need to learn to thrive. But it’s very possible and it is working for many enlightened and trailblazing families. Lizz helps guide these families who want a better and happier way for kids to learn and be prepared for the future.  

 

Many of these families have already been homeschooling, unschooling and worldschooling for a while. These families were looking for a larger and more global community and resources than they could obtain on their own. Now, due to Covid, some public and private school families are leaving those systems and joining as well. As long as they embrace the philosophy of self-directed learning, and won’t coerce their children to learn something they are not interested in, they are welcome. 

Galileo is only a year old but already has 135 students in 28 countries throughout 6 continents and growing rapidly.

The team behind Galileo also produces the free Homeschooling Global Summit. It was the 2019 Summit that inspired them to launch the Galileo school based on the findings of the information and knowledge they gained from interviewing 80+ homeschooling and alternative education experts on the best way for children to learn. 

To find out more about Galileo, families can watch Lizz’s recorded Q&A session here. Registration on Galileo’s website is required. 

Check out Galileo’s Youtube channel for more videos to learn more about Clubs, Nanodegrees and to meet some of students and teachers. 

Meet some Galileo parents by watching webinars on how their children are learning. 

Once you are convinced that Galileo is the best way for your kids to learn and thrive, apply to enroll here. Mention Lizz Quain’s name and get $100 off your first month’s tuition per student!

 

 

Let's face it... being a parent is hard.  We often live lost in a fear of judgement, fear of uncertainty and the fear of evolving past our challenges.

Maybe you feel that you do not have your shit together, yet you are supposed to be the adults, parents, or leaders in your family. Maybe you find yourself living in scarcity, while chasing significance and security you are creating a life of fear & stress.

If you find yourself saying:
I am overwhelmed,
I have no time,
I feel stuck,
I feel alone.

This is for you. Faraaz and I dive into Self-reliance, Self-confidence, Self-love and Self-care. When you set up these four foundations, then life unfolds more clearly for them.

Find out more about Faraaz and how he loves to help empowering parents to live their dreams and not put it on hold just because they have children now.

+ Improving their relationships around them so they do not feel like they are connected in a physical sense but disconnected at an emotional level.
+ How to nature themselves and their children to operate as a team of amazing individuals.
+ His adventures, triumphs and struggles in the above learning experiences.
+ That we do not have to do this alone, community is something we need to move back into for raising children.

Instagram: faraaz4real
Website: www.aspiretoconnect.com
Courses: aspiretoconnect.teachable.com

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

How do you make a change if you’re scared of being stuck getting the same results. Could you actually make meaningful changes in your relationship, vocation, finances, fitness, health, mindset. What if your whole life has changed in ways they never…

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

Danielle is an expert in Family nutrition and picky eating who helps parents that are worried their child will have nutrient deficiencies. We also cover whether picky eating is okay, or needs to be squashed.  How to feed kids who wont eat, so you can…

Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/joygasmic/message

How do you make a change if you’re scared of being stuck getting the same results. Could you actually make meaningful changes in your relationship, vocation, finances, fitness, health, mindset. 

What if your whole life has changed in ways they never could of imagined. 

Tara Philips has over 25 years studying and working as a practitioner in energy and holistic medicine, yoga and meditation teacher.  She became an Ayurveda Coach since 2007, Studied and graduated in Mastery University with Robbins International (Tony Robbins).

She now teaches and mentors with the world leader in human potential, Bob Proctor. 
She teaches mindset success, Universal Laws, Subconscious Mind, Success, Leadership. 

Tarapilling.com 
Tara Pilling Consulting (instagram)
LIVE fb page (go live daily) Proctor Gallagher Success Consulting
Business Facebook page – Tara Pilling Consulting 
tara@tarapilling.com

Danielle is an expert in Family Nutrition and picky eating.  She helps parents that are worried that their child have nutrient deficiencies. We also cover whether picky eating is okay, or needs to be squashed.  How to feed kids who wont eat, whether you should trick your kids to eat things.  All so you can feel so much more relaxed and make meals more fun.

Armed with her great tools, we can be empowered to be conscious parents who raise kids who love explore new foods without any fight.

Website: daniellebinns.com

Product: The Food Explorer Placemat

Webinar: Picky Eater Protocol Webinar 

Membership: Raising Adventurers Eaters Club

Energy Reboot for Parents

Ever felt like your life was on repeat? There are many areas that this can show up in 2020..  Your relationships, vocation, finances, fitness, health or mindset. When you get to the root cause of the repeat, it is something that can change your life in ways you never could have imagined.

Check out my episode of The Joygasmic Life Podcast, and 50+ others from The Joygasmic Podcast season “Overcoming Common Conscious Mothering Challenges". Many of the episodes deal with alternative ways to solve common issues that mothers (and other guardians) face when it comes to blissfully living their ideal mental health, nutrition, mindset and personal power after kids!  

The season covers hypnosis, diet changes, getting your kids to eat, the challenges of mothering “special kids”, myasms, stories of mayhem, finding self love, the importance of nature, releasing trauma patterns, and a deep dive into the workings of family trauma healing and the importance of flow in feminine power. 

Tara Philips has over 25 years studying and working as a practitioner in energy and holistic medicine, yoga and meditation teacher.  She became an Ayurveda Coach since 2007, Studied and graduated in Mastery University with Robbins International (Tony Robbins).

She now teaches and mentors with the world leader in human potential, Bob Proctor. 
She teaches mindset success, Universal Laws, Subconscious Mind, Success, Leadership. 

Website: Tarapilling.com 
Instagram: Tara Pilling Consulting
Business Facebook: Tara Pilling Consulting
Email: tara@tarapilling.com