Your Undeniable Yes

I sit down to think about what would actually make me really sure this was the right relationship to be in.  All signs point to yes so far, and we’ve discussed some really deep questions through the 100 Questions to Fall in Love.  I like what I hear from him, but of course, I’ve said that before. 

I again get out my trusty journal and pen.  What would an undeniable yes look like? 

He’s into a Life Commitment.

Together we commit to being in love, good communication, healthful living, deepening awakening journey, mutual support, commitment to relationship and absolut sexual loyalty, collaboration on the journey of life.

  • I need him to be available for conscious exploration of love and commitment, 
  • has a daily meditation practice, looks like a hottie, wants to live his life with me, values minimalism, kaizen, and communal living. 
  • Clearly demonstrates healthy communication patterns, has already resolved his childhood trauma and can speak about it with distance and awareness…
  • Wants to dream together.  
  • Is a “do’er” and gets shit done. He inspires me.
  • My family and friends think he’s great for me, 
  • We handle challenges with consciousness and grace.  We are able to plan together and bring those plans to fruition.  
  • We have aligned dreams for life, longevity and freedom.  

All of that sounds good, but I think about the Mr. D who was a lot of those things, but the intimacy fell flat. I’m not into a sexless functional relationship.  It’s got to be hot, fun, playful and expansive. I want to be ravished by my Undeniable Yes Lover!

Lover Undeniable YES 

  • His cock is great and fits me perfectly.  
  • He values my pleasure, he cares about my feelings, he’s demonstrated he is interested to learn how to be a better partner/lover to me.
  • I feel aligned with kind of intimacy I want with him, he loves to eat me out, he fucks me so deep.
  • We have navigated challenging intimacy conversations with grace, 
  • I love to explore his pleasure, he turns me on physically, his body is yummy, 
  • there are things I can’t describe in words but I will be able to feel if it works when we “try them out”

And then children. I thought I had a lot of this with the Mr. D I left lovingly in Mexico, but actually he always felt he was too old to have a family.  So what would I need to know was true between us before I opened my body up to conceive with this man.  I need to know this is possible BEFORE I get into an 8 month relationship with him. 

My Undeniable Yes for Children with Him

  • I am completely committed to this relationship, when ovulating AND menstruating for 6+ months.
  • We have clear communication as a regular practice for 1+ year, where we have handled any challenges that came along within 1-2 weeks in simple ways. 
  • Have created a shared spiritual space and are operating that in easeful ways.
  • Income stabilization around recurring income that makes it seem simple easy to live together and add children.
  • Discussion and clarity around desired birth, pregnancy and parenting styles (attachment parenting, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, free birth, diet, spirituality, family intention, visioning legacy and ancestry of our brood, etc) 
  • Clarity around timing and desired plan for conception/contraception between children
  • We have done meditation journey of 1-3 days together to connect to the soul of our first child.
  • We have 1-4 friends who are with us, and are willing support the baby birthing phase and postpartum. 
  • Health insurance from Canada is functioning, incase shit. 
  • He has a level of resolved-ness with any debt and taxes that he feel safe and he is comfortable with.
  • Feeling vibrant and healthy in our bodies, souls and mind. 
  • A feeling of YES NOW, YES YOU! for creating our children. ALL THE TIME! 
  • Clearly communicated to my/your family that conception is our intention and received their blessing in it.
  • We have completed a vitamin and cleansing protocol 3-6 months prior to conception.
  • High levels of intimacy pleasure and connection are normal, and we have the capacity to cum together on a regular basis with ease.
  • Ceremonial removal of the IUD, and practicing 3-6 months of conscious non-pregnancy.
  • Location lined up for birthing baby and phase 2 of their life (ie 4-12 months)
  • Commitment to minimum of 3 years together per birth, and 18 years of financial support of the child.  Ideal would be a full commitment to our relationship for life based on our circles of commitment practice.
  • As we commit to making children together, we commit to peaceful and supportive interaction with each other around the children no matter what happens in our relationship. 
  • We both commit to physically, financially and emotionally support the children for 21 years while they are moving into adulthood.

Now it’s your turn dear reader. You can cross out the things from my list that don’t appeal to you, circle things you love, and add your own in the space below.

How do you actually find time for you?

Somedays the kids drive you crazy! It's the little things we do EVERY DAY that support you or leave you exhausted.  You get angry at them when they fight, complain, or ask for your attention CONSTANTLY.   It feels like it's never ending.  

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How? Video yoga at home with kids around? Ya right!

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