I’ve also taken this course from SharnyandJulius.com. It’s only $60 USD and all the exercises are sex positive, and can be done with a gaggle of kids running around.


So you want to make a baby! Congratulations! 

Becoming a mother and creating life is one of the most incredible things you can do as woman on planet earth. And… there’s no denying it (you’ve probably heard some horror stories) mothering can also be incredibly challenging.

This checklist is designed to help you figure out what you may not have yet tried in the journey of conception.  It also gives all the best advice I’ve gathered from myself and others over the years about what you can do pre-conception to make sure your baby has the best chances at a healthy life in the long run.

Check Your Partnership

First things first.  You don’t want to end up a single mom (trust me I’ve been there, it’s all work and not enough play) so before you decide to conceive a child make sure your partnership is steady.Ask yourself: 

  • Can you talk about absolutely everything with your partner?
  • Are you committed to each other?
  • Are you financially stable enough to have kids?
  • Are you able to deal with conflicts in good ways?
  • Do you like their family?
  • Do they like your family?
  • Does your mother in law (or other relatives) respect your boundaries?
  • How do they deal with conflict?
  • Do you have any secrets from them? 
  • Would they ever cheat on you?
  • Is your sex life satisfying to both of you?
  • Have you been through some challenging experiences before, how did you deal with it?
  • How do they deal with babies and young children? 
  • Do they have challenges with their family of origin that are unresolved and causing issue in your life? 

You might be wondering why I’m asking about this… but all of these things will come up during pregnancy and birth. 

If you don't have good ways of dealing with issues that arise they will absolutly impact your children and future generations.  We want you to stay happy and in love so you can share that vision of what healthy love is with your children! 

Relationship with Self 

  • Can you say you love yourself?
  • Can you set clear boundaries?
  • When you set boundaries are they respected or not? (If they're not respected there's more inner work to do around how you set boundaries and whether or not you deserve to have your boundaries respected)
  • Do you know what you want? 
  • Do you know who you are?
  • Do you know what kind of birth you want? (preparing for your birth before conception you can save a lot of the work of by preparing the psychological space and calling in a child who has certain qualities and characteristics these include children who are available and open for pleasurable pain free or even Joygasmic birth)
  • Have you done spiritual or soul work, ceremony or ritual to open up to your children?
  • Are you interested in creating a star seed, indigo, crystal child?
  • Are you interested in creating a child who has autism or challenging genetic dispositions?
  • Are you afraid of these things? (If you're afraid of them this can impact your birth choices rather than just realizing and knowing that it won't happen to you because you've done the preparation to not have that be the case) 

If you have challenges with any of these, don’t despair! We can absolutely learn to love ourselves and I am happy to support you on this journey to self love and spiritual connection to your child.

Physical Preparation 

Even if your body is not showing any health issues before pregnancy, they will become absolutely apparent when you get pregnant as you're feeding two bodies from one diet and your placenta will strip your body of nutrients in order to feed your baby. Yikes! This makes it even more important to be in a good place with your hormones, gut health (your biome creates your baby's biome), and nutritional stores.

  • Have you been off the pill/hormonal birth control for at least 3 months?
  • Have you done at least three months of detox after coming off hormonal birth control?
  • Are your periods regular & healthy? (28 days from start to finish, 4 days of bright red blood)
  • Have you been diagnosed with PCOS or endometriosis (yoni steaming can absolutly help with this by clearing out the womb, but should be combined with deeper detox and nutrition before conceiving for best outcomes)
  • Have you done a parasite cleanse? (90% of people have some form of parasites and don't know it. Unless you cleanse these out before birth, you will pass them on to your children, giving them worse potential outcomes for their health in the long run.)
  • How are you supporting your microbiome? (unpasteurized and preferably homemade or farmers market purchased Kraut, Kefir, Kombucha, yogurt, pickles, fermented vegetables) 
  • Have you repaired your biome since any antibiotics you may have taken in the past?
  • Do you or your partner experience leaky gut/IBS/diarrhea/constipation? 
  • Do you sweat 3-5x week in some form of sweat detox?
  • Do you have underlying health issues that need to be resolved before you get pregnant?
  • Does your partner have underlying health issues that need to be resolved before you get pregnant? 
  • How are your energy levels? 
  • Do you feel tired often? 
  • How is your sleep?
  • Do you experience any of the following? (they will likely get worse during pregnancy and it's easier to fix them before hand)
    • Chronically cold hands?
    • Migraines
    • Acid reflex?
    • Insomnia
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Other mental health symptoms
  • Have you done deep detox of yourself and your partner?
    • Glyphosate?
    • Aluminum?
    • Mercury?
    • Lead?
  • Do you eat non-organic tofu regularly? (this can be a source of Aluminum)
  • Do you have mercury fillings?
  • Do you have cavities? (these point to gut issues or nutrient deficiencies)
  • Are you eating any of the following foods regularly? (Dairy, gluten, sugar, conventional cookies, chips, cakes, processed foods, non organic foods, all of these are known to be inflammatory and/or cause your body to remove nutrients rather than add them)

Most people aren’t aware of the impact of the microbiome on our bodies and babies.  In fact we are made of more bacteria than we are human cells and the microbiome (the bacterial content of your stomach/intestines that takes your food and digests it further into nutrients for you).  

Many colicky or reflux babies are caused by either c-section birth or a limited or challenging microbe in mother that is passed on during birth.  

Dad’s don’t get a free pass there for doing this work on the biome as the biome of the father is literally injected deep into the mother with every ejaculation.  It takes two to make a healthy baby!

Nutritional Stores Preparation

I recommend a minimum of three to six months of extra nutrition preparation after coming off birth control in terms of diet even if you already have a healthy diet that includes the foods listed below.  

The father should be on an equally nutrient dense diet as the mother is for at least four months prior to conception as it takes that long to build the healthiest sperm.If you are regularly eating junk food or lots of pre-packaged non-whole foods this requires more intentional preparation to support the body (Give me 6 months and we'll get you straightened out).

It’s important to know that while people do have healthy pregnancies while eating these foods, many people have challenges with their pregnancies like gestational-diabetes, heartburn, daily vomiting, pre-term labour etc that are much easier to fix with preventative care and nutrition BEFORE you get pregnant.  

Avoid these foods! If they are eaten on a regular basis all of these have potential to be adding to your toxic load which will challenge your body and can hinder a best healthy pregnancy and postpartum.

  • Food colours and additives (watch out for natural flavors, artificial flavors, yeast extract, MSG, titanium dioxide, guar gum, carrageenan, xanthum gum)
  • Sugar (cane sugar, high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, maltodextrin, sucrose, fructose etc)
  • Dairy (factory farmed ice cream, milk, yogurt or cheeses) (artisan non-pasteurized cheeses are generally okay)
  • Wheat Gluten, crackers, breads, (all grains should be soaked before eating and this is not a process industrial food uses, which turns bread into a nutrient absorber rather than nutrious)
  • Factory farmed meat (pumped full of antibiotics)

It's best to nourish your body beforehand this includes:

  • Healthy fats (coconut, avocado and olive oil)
  • Sources of omega fats (hempseed, fish oils, algae supplements)
  • Appropriate levels of magnesium, potassium, selenium, zinc & iron. (Moringa is my favorite that covers many of these)
  • Choline helps to form the myelin sheath around forming nerves (this is found in eggs and also sunflower lecithin)
  • Dark leafy greens (Kale, spinich, chard, collards, arugala, lettuce, dulse)
  • Colourful vegetables (bell peppers, carrots, purple cabbage, brocoli, cauliflower)

It might feel overwhelming to think of the changes in your diet that might be required to optimize your nutritional intake before and during pregnancy but it will pay off in the long run.

It might seem hard to get off these foods if they form the staple of your diet, but it absolutly can be done. I love to help people re-program their brains so that it becomes easy to let go of what used to be “favorite comfort foods” and replace them with healthy plant based foods.  All of your nutritional needs can be met in healthy ways, please contact me if you would like access to my preferred brand of organic vegan whole food supplies. 

Already have kids and planning on more?

If you are breastfeeding and have gotten pregnant this puts extra demands on your nutrient intake.  You absolutely need to put high quality nutrition into your body and ask for support.

Often getting pregnant with additional kids is challenging because moms stress levels are too high for optimal conception hormones. 

Asking for Support

We are meant to parent in a village.  Without that motherhood is a challenging journey. With the village destroyed by the nuclear family the thing I hear from new moms most consistently is that they feel alone (even if they have a partner) and under-supported. 

You must ask yourself… Do you know how to ask for help? 

Many women really struggle with asking for help. This absolutely will show up in your postpartum when you are vulnerable and unable to do many things you used to be able to do (because you have a baby attached to you 24/7 and are physically recovering from the marathon of labour)

  • Do you know how to ask for help?
  • Have you planned for postpartum? 
  • Do you have a plan for who is going to feed you?
  • Who can help with cleaning your house?
  • Who can help with baby laundry?
  • Who can listen to you, hold you and help you feel safe in any emotions that arise?
  • Who is going to nurture you?
  • Who is going to nurture your partner?
  • Who is going to nurture your children?
  • How you are going to be preparing for receiving support? 

Preparing for Labour 

Sometimes conception doesn’t happen because we are scared about labour or mothering.Ask yourself these questions: 

  • Have you educated yourself about physiological birth versus hospital birth? 
  • Have you educated yourself around the hazards and tragedies of hospital birth? 
  • Have you educated yourself about the hormones of labor? 
  • Do you know how to support your body to stay in connection with oxytocin? 
  • Do you know how to relax and build endorphins so that you don't need pain killers in order to handle your birth? 
  • Have you worked with the deep subconscious to prepare yourself to transmute pain into surrender? 
  • Do you understand that the pain that happens in birth is there to help our body and can be transformed?
  • Are you ready to radically transform yourself into a mother? 
  • What are your stories about who what a mother is? 
  • Do you have resentment towards your mother now? 
  • Do you have resentment towards your father now? 
  • What are your stories about what it was to be a young child? 
  • What are your stories about how you were born?

How is your self care preparation? 

  • Do you have a source of positive birth stories that you can listen to to inspire you and let you know that what you want is possible? 
  • Are you able to support and offer yourself loving conversation from the inside when things are challenging? 
  • Are you subtly doubting yourself in any way?
  • What do you believe about birth? 
  • What do you fear about birth? 
  • What do you know about birth? 
  • Do you realize that these are changeable? 
  • If you could change any of them, what would you change?
  • Do you have fears that come up over and over again? (you absolutely need to deal with these instead of ignoring them) 
  • Do you have unprocessed trauma?
  • Do you have previous birth trauma from your own birth? 
  • From past children's birth? 
  • What are the stories you're telling yourself about conception? 
  • Do you have sexual trauma that's been unprocessed? 
  • What is your plan for dealing with this?

There’s no need to get overwhelmed! 

While it might feel overwhelming to realize there are so many things you haven’t thought of already, the good news is that in reading these questions you now have less blind spots and you can prepare.  

All of these things will radically impact your ability to birth the way you want. You can absolutely solve most of them in less than 9 months and/or while you are pregnant.  

You deserve to have a wonderful birth. I am here to support you on your journey.  

Pregnancy is designed to break down the identity of the woman so she can become a phenomenal mother.  Thus it is totally normal to have big emotions, worries and anxiety come up while you are pregnant. This is simply life showing you where you still need healing work. You can help the process by making sure your body is optimally nourished and you are emotionally and psychologically supported.  That way any “kinks in the hose” can be seen as blessings along the way, and is a part of the continuum of birth that prepares you to surrender to the wild flow of birth. 

My husband and son love the metaphor of birth like having a poop. 

A big, giant poop. An enormous poop.  (You can imagine my 10 year old laughing like a goofball) Your body knows how to poop, but having the wrong person watching over your shoulder can absolutely make your body clench up and freeze. Your support team matters SO MUCH.  Check out my ebook The Joygasmic Birth Blueprint for more info about how to prepare yourself and your team and deal with common family related challenges. 

Your body is wise.  It knows what you need well before your labour begins and all the symptoms women experience are signs and signals of what needs to be resolved in order for them and their babies to thrive.  

Pregnancy is a journey that changes your life for the better and transforms you into an incredible mom. 


In 2018 the Peristeam Hydrotherapy Institute commissioned a trial study to compare if there are any differences in postpartum recovery between a group of women who steam versus a group of women who do not steam. 

Pelvic exams were conducted 4 days postpartum, 8 days postpartum and 6 weeks postpartum. The information was collected between January to May of 2019.

  • The control group received no vaginal steams. 
  • The steam group received vaginal steam sessions on days 4 (after pelvic exam), 5, 6, 7 and 8. 

The vaginal steam sessions lasted for 15 minutes and were prepared using 2.5 cups of water and 3 tablespoons of an herbal formula which was the same for each woman.  Normally for postpartum women we recommend 30 days of consecutive steaming.  Learn more about Vaginal Steaming's history and benefits, or book a free consult

The full document is available here.  However it's a bit hard to read, so I've summarized the findings below.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Postpartum Bleeding to Resolve Quicker

The darker dots below represent the intensity of bleeding.  The Steam group resolved their postpartum bleeding quicker at each measurement point.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Tears Heal up to 5 weeks Quicker

On Day 8 while all participants had labia that were healing process, the steam group had 4 participants with fully healed labia. By the six week mark, all participants had fully healed labia.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Stitches Heal With less itching/Discomfort

The steam group had no healing discomfort at all after day 4. At the six week mark, the control group had 1 participant with itchy sutures, 3 participants with tender sutures and 1 participant with no healing discomfort. The steam group continued to have no healing discomfort

Vaginal Steaming Helps the Womb Return to Normal Size Quicker

By day 8, the fundal height (womb size) had reduced more than the control group.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Reduce Cramping 

The darker dots below represent the intensity of cramping as the womb contracts.  The Steam group had more intense cramping at day 4, but resolved their postpartum contractions quicker at each measurement point.


Vaginal Steaming Helps Hemorrhoid Pain

The vaginal steaming group experienced a significant reduction in hemorrhoids or pain from hemorrhoids. The control group experienced no change in their experience of hemorrhoids in 6 weeks.


This entire study was commissioned, researched, written and funded by women. A huge thank you to everyone who donated and made that possible.

Special Gratitude

SteamyChick.com for organizing the study and publishing the results.

Abner Nevarez, Adrienne Chamberlain, Aida Chaldranyan, Alicia Bostick, Alison Theriault, Alyssa Fahlman, Amanda Swan, Amanda Thompson, Amber Leitz, Amy Haynes, Andressa Taverna, Anne Marie Olbrot, Bellymama Midwifery, Bodywork by Bobbi, Caitlin Tyner, Caren Minery, Darren Howard, Debra Erickson, Deidre Mikolajcik, Eliza James, Elizabeth Grennille, Emily Adler, Emma Sartwell, Erica Stockton, Franciska Farkas, Hanna Sysalova, Heidi Kleinshmidt, Hustera LLC, Impact Wellness, Institute for Birth Healing, Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Benavides, Jessica Lipinski, Jill Tralka, Joe Bradley, Kate Coveney, Katrina McHugh, Kim Nelson, Kristen Hurvitz, Kristin Gonzalez, Lauren Lucas, Leah Grow, Leah Miller, Leiamoon, Lene Eriksen, Leviosa Communication, Light Footsteps LLC, Lise Hall, Lucy Mendelsson, Lynn Korst, Magamama, Manja Potocnik, Mary Harris, Meg Forbes, Melissa Hunter, Nancy Gayle Martin, Natasha Vavasour, Nehanda Reid, Nichole Ekman, Perfecx, Princesa Vitela, Psychosomatische Energie - und Körperarbeit, Rebecca Lanham, Rita Shertick, Robyn Comfort, Roxanne Yanke, Sankofa Empowerment LLC, Sara Slattery, Sara Vatore, Somatic Sexual Wholeness LLC, Steamy Chick, Stephanie Ohara, Teira Johnson, Thalia de Jesus Dain, The Apple, The Cuntsultant, Tiffany Wolf, Vanessa Arcara, Yoga & Yoga Retreats

  • Prior to your first birthing experience had you ever talked to anybody or connected with anybody who had had an orgasmic pleasurable or even pain free birth?
  • What unconscious assumptions did you have about the process of birth?
  • How consciously did you participate in your conception process?
  • Did you feel safe in your birthing environment?
  • Did you have any experience of sexual trauma that was not dealt with at that time of your birth? 
  • How much personal autonomy did you have in the process of birthing?
  • How supported did you feel by your caretakers?
  • How deeply were you connected to your sense of personal pleasure?
  • What was your relationship with your partner like?How supportive and loving was your relationship?
  • Did you have any underlying relationship issues that needed to be resolved?
  • What would it take now to do that work with your partner?
  • What were the stories that you told yourself about birth?
  • What are the birth stories that inspire you?
  • What kind of birth do you want to create? 
  • How many ways since you gave birth before have you since asserted your autonomy in your life?
  • How many more ways can you learn to experience pleasure?
  • What else might have affected your ability see what was possible for you and birth? 
  • The following herbs should not be used while nursing unless otherwise directed by an expert qualified in the appropriate use of the substance.

    Alkanet (Alkanna tinctoria)

    Aloe (Aloe vera, A. ferox, A. perryi)

    Basil* (Ocimum basilicum)

    Black cohosh (Cimicifuga racemosa)

    Bladderwrack (Fucus vesiculosus)

    Borage (Borago officinalis)

    Bugleweed (Lycopus virginicus)

    Cascara sagrada (Rhamnus purshiana)

    Chinese rhubarb (Rheum palmatum)

    Coltsfoot (Tussilago farfara)

    Comfrey (Symphytum officinale)

    Elecampane (Inula helenium)

    Ephedra, ma huang (Ephedra sinica)

    Garlic* (Allium sativum)

    Joe Pye (Eupatorium purpureum)

    Licorice (Glycyrrhiza glabra)

    Male fern (Dryopteris filix-mas)

    Purging buckthorn (Rhamnus catharticus)

    Senna (Senna alexandrina)

    Stillingia (Stillingia sylvatica)

    Wormwood (Artemisia absinthium)

    * May be safely used as a culinary seasoning.

    Source: Botanical Safety Handbook (CRC, 1997)

    What training have you taken in order to offer this service?

    I have been trained in traditional placenta encapsulation and placenta remedy crafting. As well I have training from both the BC Food Safe Program and OSHA Bloodborne Pathogens.

    How do you sterilize the equipment you use?

    Your safety is extremely important to me. I have take multiple steps to ensuring your safety, including a thorough cleaning protocol. All my equipment is properly sterilized and stored between clients. All my reusable equipment is washed and then sanitized in a 1:10 bleach:water ration and soaked for 20 minutes minimum and all work surface areas are also scrubbed and sprayed down with the same solution and left to “stand” for 20 minutes until sterile. As well I only ever have one placenta on premises, so there is never a concern of a mix up in placentas.

    Where do you process the placenta?

    I have a designated work space in my home.

    How does it work?

    Online intake and contract makes reserving your spot quick and easy. 

    After booking you will be sent instructions on how to store your placenta and how to contact me at the time of birth. Encapsulation services include pick up from your birth location so there will be no running around to do in your babymoon. I encapsulate each placenta with deep reverence for this incredible and sacred organ. Each placenta is processed in ceremony including energetic cleansing of the space and supplies used and your remedies are infused with healing reiki energy and so much love.

    You’ll appreciate the fast turnaround time and personal home delivery of your pills in a lovely package.

    You can relax and enjoy your babymoon and have help brought to your doorstep, because as a new mama you have enough going on.

    What is the cost and what is included?

    The placenta encapsulation package is $250 and this includes:

    • Pick up and drop off of the placenta from your birth location and to your doorstep
    • Your placenta capsules
    • A precious heart umbilical chord keepsake 
    • A print of your brilliantly unique placenta
    • A picture of your cleaned placenta
    • A placenta tincture can be added to your package that can be used for many years to come in yourself and your child for an additional $50
    • Your placenta remedy guidebook including all the essentials of postpartum healing including local resources.

    If you are booking my birth services package this includes $100 discount for placenta encapsulation services.

    What are the benefits of placenta consumption?

    Placenta consumption has been used traditionally for recovering postpartum mamas since the beginning of time. Consuming the placenta is something mamas have done intuitively to aid in:

    • Preventing or reducing postpartum depression symptoms. Postpartum depression was previous linked to lack of sleep and the general transition to motherhood. Now, researchers are finding that the newly postpartum individuals are lacking in corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH) which causes the release of cortisol, the stress fighting hormone.  CRH is secreted in high amounts during the final trimester of pregnancy, and once the baby and placenta are birthed, the levels of CRH drop sharply, thus the link between the low levels of CRH and postpartum depression are being explored. 
    • Replenishing iron levels in your body.  When you birth your baby, you lose a large amount of blood. And as your uterus returns to its pre-pregnancy size, you lose a large amount of blood. While both are completely normal, the decrease in your blood volume can also decrease the iron levels in your body. By consuming your placenta, you are able to replenish some of those iron levels.  
    • Hormone Stabilization: By consuming your own placenta, you are also consuming the hormones from your baby and your body during pregnancy.  This consumption is thought to even out the hormones in your postpartum body, thus decreasing the symptoms of postpartum depression
    • Increasing levels of oxytocin. Oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, is responsible for bonding, happiness, natural pain relief, and helping the uterus return to it’s pre-pregnancy size faster.  By consuming your placenta, you are getting greater doses of oxytocin, and thus receiving more of the aforementioned benefits of the hormone.  
    • Establish and improve early breastmilk production: it has been shown that when placenta capsules are consumed, breastmilk production increases in the early postpartum days.
    • Offers natural pain relief after birth: In addition to the increased levels of oxytocin, a natural pain reliever, placenta encapsulation also helps with the effectiveness of opioids, so pain relief is greater after birth.  
    • Replenish vitamins lost during birth: Placenta encapsulation can help replenish B vitamins and energy that was lost during the labor and delivery process. 
    • Protection from infection: By consuming the placenta tissue and membranes, you are protecting yourself from infection and bleeding.

    The placenta is composed of beneficial hormones, chemicals, iron, and proteins. These healing substances include:

    • Estrogen, Progesterone, Testosterone: Contributes to mammary gland development in preparation for lactation; stabilizes postpartum mood; regulates post-birth uterine cramping; decreases depression; normalizes and stimulates libido.
    • Prolactin: Promotes lactation; increases milk supply; enhances the mothering instinct.
    • Oxytocin: Decreases pain and increases bonding in mother and infant; counteracts the production of stress hormones such as Cortisol; greatly reduces postpartum bleeding; enhances the breastfeeding let-down reflex.
    • Placental Opioid-Enhancing Factor (POEF): Stimulates the production of your body’s natural opioids, including endorphins; reduces pain; increases well-being.
    • Thyroid Stimulating Hormone: Regulates the thyroid gland; boosts energy and supports recovery from stressful events.
    • Corticotropin Releasing Hormone (CRH): Low levels of CRH are implicated in postpartum depression. Regulation of CRH helps prevent depression.
    • Cortisone: Reduces inflammation and swelling; promotes healing.
    • Interferon: Triggers the protective defenses of the immune system to fight infection.
    • Prostaglandins: Regulates contractions in the uterus after birth; helps uterus return to its pre-pregnancy size. Anti-inflammatory effects.
    • Iron: Replenishes maternal iron stores to combat anemia, a common postpartum condition. Increases energy; decreases fatigue and depression.
    • Hemoglobin: Oxygen-carrying molecule which provides a boost in energy.
    • Urokinase Inhibiting Factor and Factor XIII: stops bleeding and enhances wound healing.
    • Immunoglobulin G (IgG): Antibody molecules which support the immune system.
    • Human Placental Lactogen (hPL): This hormone has lactogenic and growth-promoting properties; promotes mammary gland growth in preparation for lactation in the mother. It also regulates maternal glucose, protein, and fat levels.

    Source: Placenta Wise

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