Stop Getting Angry with your Kids with this Easy Brain Hack

Has anyone ever told you to take a deep breath and just calm down?  

If you’ve ever tried it, it seems to work in the moment, but more often than not, within a few minutes (or second) the anger is right back there. 


Your 5 Fantastic Fingers

This is a 5 min or less exercise, designed to help you shift your brain completely from stress to relaxation and forward thinking peaceful action.

We use the ritual of doing this practice from start to finish to create a repeated brain pathway that says "when I start doing this I am stressed" to "when I finish this I feel good".  

Each time you do it successfully (aka complete it and come out slightly/completely calmer), you hardwire the pattern of moving from stress to relaxation even quicker into your brain.

If you need to do it more than once no problem at all.  
I say "doing it twice is better than doing it not at all!" 

If you forget to do it.  No problem.  
You'll have lots more opportunities to practice.
You're a mother after all.  😉

1. Breathe.  

Place your thumb and baby finger together.  

We do 5 breaths here, to recognize the awareness of the anger or pattern within us, to realize that we have recognized we are stuck, and are preparing to shift it.
​
Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth, this helps calm your nervous system.  Imagine you are breathing OUT all your anger.

2. Make Love

Place your thumb and ring finger together.  

We do 5 breaths here, to recognize the love that we cary within ourselves, looking around the space for anything we feel greatful for, and expressing gratitude for that in our inner (or outer) voice.

Grattitude for ourselves for recognizing we are stuck,
for our children for calling us to more love,
for having the tools and awareness to recognize the the anger or other pattern ​
to have recognized we are stuck, and are all ready to shift it.

3. Magnetize

Place your thumb and middle finger together.  

We do 5 breaths here, connecting with what we WANT to be happening instead.

We want to be patient.  We want to be loving.  We want our kids to behave better.  We want to feel more rested. 

Spend 5 breaths doing your best to VISUALIZE and then EXPERIENCE yourself as those things you want to be feeling.  

This is where the magic happens, and you shift it. 

4. Look Inside

Place your thumb and index finger together.  (put your hands to your eyeballs like silly glasses if you haven't already laughed some in the process already)

We do 5 breaths here, to scan our body from head to toe, and see if there is ANYTHING that is left of that initial anger/challenge.  If there is.  No problem.  Just move back to step 1, and then do the process again for yourself, it will feel so much easier because of what you've already done.

We do this to make sure we have completely shifted the energy of our bodies to one of calm.  

5. Celebrate

Place your thumb and thumb together.  Give your thumbs a kiss with eachother 5 times and 5 breaths.  

We do 5 breaths here, to celebrate that we have shifted ourselves, to celebrate that we are alive, that we have power over our minds and our old patterns, and to congratulate yourself on having completed the pattern.  
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Positive re-enforcement is so crucial for creating new patterns, so celebrating allows us to know without a doubt "this is good, and I am doing something good for myself"

Congratulations!  You've done it!

Your 5 Fantastic Fingers are Complete

You can now head back into your mom(battle)field like a Bulletproof Mom.

 

and a JoyGasmic New Year

Hey there…

I know it’s been too long since you’ve heard from me.

In fact, in my memory, I promised to write you,
just after we met, and had this wildly joygasmic experience together.

I’m so sorry I didn’t message you back,
I’m sorry I didn’t write when I meant to.

I was busy being stuck in my own shit.
This last decade kicked my ass.

Seriously.

I don’t know about you,
maybe you’ve had a wild ride too.

Discovering what it is to be a conscious being…
and how much programing and culture I had ontop of that pure heart.

I’ve spent the last 10 days in personal retreat,
journaling, crying, meditating, clearing

and making room for the next 10 years to come.

So I can be a brand new slate, without any attachment to this crazy journey of the 2010-19.

Because 10 years ago I was drunker than a fish, being the chick

who wore tight dresses (which I’m still doing.. lol)
who loved to make sure we got an extra 3 pitchers and a round of shots (or two) at last call.
Who then stayed till 4am, pining for her drunk boyfriend to come home and fuck her and then feel murderous rage when he’d do just that and then roll over and fall asleep.
That woman, she lived in a constant state of self pity, self loathing, and self destruction.

And the craziest thing of all was
she didn’t even realize it.

Because that woman was unaware,
that woman had no boundaries,
she had no fucking clue what an awakening journey was,
she could give a crap about other people or herself.

In fact she’d entered into that life “looking to fuck her life up”
find some cocaine addicted cooks to work with
and end up in a gutter, because that’s what she felt she deserved.

Instead of got a baby I wasn’t expecting,
a divine 2×4 upside the head,
and the awakening journey of my lifetime! lol

It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t always fun,
I’d feel mystical presence throughout my body,
and I thought I was awakened,
Then I hated myself as I went through the exact same pity party
exactly the same way.

I thought I’d transcended self loathing,
only to find a more refined version of it,
so subtle I barely even knew it was there,
except that it showed up every day,
full of anxiety and judgment
asking to be loved.

I judged myself for not being “far enough along the path”
I even gave up on improving myself for 2 years,
and ran away through substances

more than I’d like to admit.

But life has a way of continuing to happen
the sun keeps rising, the sun keeps settting,
and so along the way I also traveled to 16 countries, 4 continents,
and raised a beautiful babe into a big 9 year old kid!

sometimes it was JoyGasmic,
sometimes it was heartbreaking.
Often it was both in quick succession.
leaving me dizzy and confused
about who I was,
or what I was here to do.

But along the way, I continued with #kaizen
(constant small improvements)
and I worked to improve myself just a little
day after day.

I worked hard to see the challenge as an opportunity to grow
to see the pain as a sign of a place to heal,
to see myself as growing, and learning along the way.

Today I’m so happy to be living #wokeAF
hahaha, whatever that means.

I’m kidding, I know what it means.
It means that I know I am on this awakening journey,
that I am the path and the way,
to my own experience of bliss in my nervous system.

that I am always learning, and have much to grow into
and that I am dedicated to that, and being of service to others
I now live life, mostly peaceful,
mostly loving, and
feeling clear in my voice
and being even more of myself.

I’ve spent time pondering the lessons I’ve learned, and the woman I have become,
and I’m greatful for the whole journey.

I can stand here and instead of blaming my past decisions,
I can celebrate that I cleaned out all that pain,
learned how to dedicate myself to my tools and practices,
and am so excited to be sharing this in an even more powerful way.

I love you %FIRSTNAME%, you were there for me when my life was more messy than beautiful, and even though I didn’t reach out to you, I knew you were there, and curious about what I had to say, and that gave me the courage to keep going on when things were tough all the time.

So I’ll be writing more often now,
and sharing with you first,
because you’ve been there all along.

I promised my future self,
that I would start today
and so here I am.

Much Love,

Elena

Ps. Here’s a powerful 5 minute video I made just for you to re-program your brain to believe that anything can change. I made it for you, so you could get a taste of the kind of powerful personal work I’m doing every day for myself and with others.