So you want to make a baby! Congratulations! 

Becoming a mother and creating life is one of the most incredible things you can do as woman on planet earth. And… there’s no denying it (you’ve probably heard some horror stories) mothering can also be incredibly challenging.

This checklist is designed to help you figure out what you may not have yet tried in the journey of conception.  It also gives all the best advice I’ve gathered from myself and others over the years about what you can do pre-conception to make sure your baby has the best chances at a healthy life in the long run.

Check Your Partnership

First things first.  You don’t want to end up a single mom (trust me I’ve been there, it’s all work and not enough play) so before you decide to conceive a child make sure your partnership is steady.Ask yourself: 

  • Can you talk about absolutely everything with your partner?
  • Are you committed to each other?
  • Are you financially stable enough to have kids?
  • Are you able to deal with conflicts in good ways?
  • Do you like their family?
  • Do they like your family?
  • Does your mother in law (or other relatives) respect your boundaries?
  • How do they deal with conflict?
  • Do you have any secrets from them? 
  • Would they ever cheat on you?
  • Is your sex life satisfying to both of you?
  • Have you been through some challenging experiences before, how did you deal with it?
  • How do they deal with babies and young children? 
  • Do they have challenges with their family of origin that are unresolved and causing issue in your life? 

You might be wondering why I’m asking about this… but all of these things will come up during pregnancy and birth. 

If you don't have good ways of dealing with issues that arise they will absolutly impact your children and future generations.  We want you to stay happy and in love so you can share that vision of what healthy love is with your children! 

Relationship with Self 

  • Can you say you love yourself?
  • Can you set clear boundaries?
  • When you set boundaries are they respected or not? (If they're not respected there's more inner work to do around how you set boundaries and whether or not you deserve to have your boundaries respected)
  • Do you know what you want? 
  • Do you know who you are?
  • Do you know what kind of birth you want? (preparing for your birth before conception you can save a lot of the work of by preparing the psychological space and calling in a child who has certain qualities and characteristics these include children who are available and open for pleasurable pain free or even Joygasmic birth)
  • Have you done spiritual or soul work, ceremony or ritual to open up to your children?
  • Are you interested in creating a star seed, indigo, crystal child?
  • Are you interested in creating a child who has autism or challenging genetic dispositions?
  • Are you afraid of these things? (If you're afraid of them this can impact your birth choices rather than just realizing and knowing that it won't happen to you because you've done the preparation to not have that be the case) 

If you have challenges with any of these, don’t despair! We can absolutely learn to love ourselves and I am happy to support you on this journey to self love and spiritual connection to your child.

Physical Preparation 

Even if your body is not showing any health issues before pregnancy, they will become absolutely apparent when you get pregnant as you're feeding two bodies from one diet and your placenta will strip your body of nutrients in order to feed your baby. Yikes! This makes it even more important to be in a good place with your hormones, gut health (your biome creates your baby's biome), and nutritional stores.

  • Have you been off the pill/hormonal birth control for at least 3 months?
  • Have you done at least three months of detox after coming off hormonal birth control?
  • Are your periods regular & healthy? (28 days from start to finish, 4 days of bright red blood)
  • Have you been diagnosed with PCOS or endometriosis (yoni steaming can absolutly help with this by clearing out the womb, but should be combined with deeper detox and nutrition before conceiving for best outcomes)
  • Have you done a parasite cleanse? (90% of people have some form of parasites and don't know it. Unless you cleanse these out before birth, you will pass them on to your children, giving them worse potential outcomes for their health in the long run.)
  • How are you supporting your microbiome? (unpasteurized and preferably homemade or farmers market purchased Kraut, Kefir, Kombucha, yogurt, pickles, fermented vegetables) 
  • Have you repaired your biome since any antibiotics you may have taken in the past?
  • Do you or your partner experience leaky gut/IBS/diarrhea/constipation? 
  • Do you sweat 3-5x week in some form of sweat detox?
  • Do you have underlying health issues that need to be resolved before you get pregnant?
  • Does your partner have underlying health issues that need to be resolved before you get pregnant? 
  • How are your energy levels? 
  • Do you feel tired often? 
  • How is your sleep?
  • Do you experience any of the following? (they will likely get worse during pregnancy and it's easier to fix them before hand)
    • Chronically cold hands?
    • Migraines
    • Acid reflex?
    • Insomnia
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Other mental health symptoms
  • Have you done deep detox of yourself and your partner?
    • Glyphosate?
    • Aluminum?
    • Mercury?
    • Lead?
  • Do you eat non-organic tofu regularly? (this can be a source of Aluminum)
  • Do you have mercury fillings?
  • Do you have cavities? (these point to gut issues or nutrient deficiencies)
  • Are you eating any of the following foods regularly? (Dairy, gluten, sugar, conventional cookies, chips, cakes, processed foods, non organic foods, all of these are known to be inflammatory and/or cause your body to remove nutrients rather than add them)

Most people aren’t aware of the impact of the microbiome on our bodies and babies.  In fact we are made of more bacteria than we are human cells and the microbiome (the bacterial content of your stomach/intestines that takes your food and digests it further into nutrients for you).  

Many colicky or reflux babies are caused by either c-section birth or a limited or challenging microbe in mother that is passed on during birth.  

Dad’s don’t get a free pass there for doing this work on the biome as the biome of the father is literally injected deep into the mother with every ejaculation.  It takes two to make a healthy baby!

Nutritional Stores Preparation

I recommend a minimum of three to six months of extra nutrition preparation after coming off birth control in terms of diet even if you already have a healthy diet that includes the foods listed below.  

The father should be on an equally nutrient dense diet as the mother is for at least four months prior to conception as it takes that long to build the healthiest sperm.If you are regularly eating junk food or lots of pre-packaged non-whole foods this requires more intentional preparation to support the body (Give me 6 months and we'll get you straightened out).

It’s important to know that while people do have healthy pregnancies while eating these foods, many people have challenges with their pregnancies like gestational-diabetes, heartburn, daily vomiting, pre-term labour etc that are much easier to fix with preventative care and nutrition BEFORE you get pregnant.  

Avoid these foods! If they are eaten on a regular basis all of these have potential to be adding to your toxic load which will challenge your body and can hinder a best healthy pregnancy and postpartum.

  • Food colours and additives (watch out for natural flavors, artificial flavors, yeast extract, MSG, titanium dioxide, guar gum, carrageenan, xanthum gum)
  • Sugar (cane sugar, high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, maltodextrin, sucrose, fructose etc)
  • Dairy (factory farmed ice cream, milk, yogurt or cheeses) (artisan non-pasteurized cheeses are generally okay)
  • Wheat Gluten, crackers, breads, (all grains should be soaked before eating and this is not a process industrial food uses, which turns bread into a nutrient absorber rather than nutrious)
  • Factory farmed meat (pumped full of antibiotics)

It's best to nourish your body beforehand this includes:

  • Healthy fats (coconut, avocado and olive oil)
  • Sources of omega fats (hempseed, fish oils, algae supplements)
  • Appropriate levels of magnesium, potassium, selenium, zinc & iron. (Moringa is my favorite that covers many of these)
  • Choline helps to form the myelin sheath around forming nerves (this is found in eggs and also sunflower lecithin)
  • Dark leafy greens (Kale, spinich, chard, collards, arugala, lettuce, dulse)
  • Colourful vegetables (bell peppers, carrots, purple cabbage, brocoli, cauliflower)

It might feel overwhelming to think of the changes in your diet that might be required to optimize your nutritional intake before and during pregnancy but it will pay off in the long run.

It might seem hard to get off these foods if they form the staple of your diet, but it absolutly can be done. I love to help people re-program their brains so that it becomes easy to let go of what used to be “favorite comfort foods” and replace them with healthy plant based foods.  All of your nutritional needs can be met in healthy ways, please contact me if you would like access to my preferred brand of organic vegan whole food supplies. 

Already have kids and planning on more?

If you are breastfeeding and have gotten pregnant this puts extra demands on your nutrient intake.  You absolutely need to put high quality nutrition into your body and ask for support.

Often getting pregnant with additional kids is challenging because moms stress levels are too high for optimal conception hormones. 

Asking for Support

We are meant to parent in a village.  Without that motherhood is a challenging journey. With the village destroyed by the nuclear family the thing I hear from new moms most consistently is that they feel alone (even if they have a partner) and under-supported. 

You must ask yourself… Do you know how to ask for help? 

Many women really struggle with asking for help. This absolutely will show up in your postpartum when you are vulnerable and unable to do many things you used to be able to do (because you have a baby attached to you 24/7 and are physically recovering from the marathon of labour)

  • Do you know how to ask for help?
  • Have you planned for postpartum? 
  • Do you have a plan for who is going to feed you?
  • Who can help with cleaning your house?
  • Who can help with baby laundry?
  • Who can listen to you, hold you and help you feel safe in any emotions that arise?
  • Who is going to nurture you?
  • Who is going to nurture your partner?
  • Who is going to nurture your children?
  • How you are going to be preparing for receiving support? 

Preparing for Labour 

Sometimes conception doesn’t happen because we are scared about labour or mothering.Ask yourself these questions: 

  • Have you educated yourself about physiological birth versus hospital birth? 
  • Have you educated yourself around the hazards and tragedies of hospital birth? 
  • Have you educated yourself about the hormones of labor? 
  • Do you know how to support your body to stay in connection with oxytocin? 
  • Do you know how to relax and build endorphins so that you don't need pain killers in order to handle your birth? 
  • Have you worked with the deep subconscious to prepare yourself to transmute pain into surrender? 
  • Do you understand that the pain that happens in birth is there to help our body and can be transformed?
  • Are you ready to radically transform yourself into a mother? 
  • What are your stories about who what a mother is? 
  • Do you have resentment towards your mother now? 
  • Do you have resentment towards your father now? 
  • What are your stories about what it was to be a young child? 
  • What are your stories about how you were born?

How is your self care preparation? 

  • Do you have a source of positive birth stories that you can listen to to inspire you and let you know that what you want is possible? 
  • Are you able to support and offer yourself loving conversation from the inside when things are challenging? 
  • Are you subtly doubting yourself in any way?
  • What do you believe about birth? 
  • What do you fear about birth? 
  • What do you know about birth? 
  • Do you realize that these are changeable? 
  • If you could change any of them, what would you change?
  • Do you have fears that come up over and over again? (you absolutely need to deal with these instead of ignoring them) 
  • Do you have unprocessed trauma?
  • Do you have previous birth trauma from your own birth? 
  • From past children's birth? 
  • What are the stories you're telling yourself about conception? 
  • Do you have sexual trauma that's been unprocessed? 
  • What is your plan for dealing with this?

There’s no need to get overwhelmed! 

While it might feel overwhelming to realize there are so many things you haven’t thought of already, the good news is that in reading these questions you now have less blind spots and you can prepare.  

All of these things will radically impact your ability to birth the way you want. You can absolutely solve most of them in less than 9 months and/or while you are pregnant.  

You deserve to have a wonderful birth. I am here to support you on your journey.  

Pregnancy is designed to break down the identity of the woman so she can become a phenomenal mother.  Thus it is totally normal to have big emotions, worries and anxiety come up while you are pregnant. This is simply life showing you where you still need healing work. You can help the process by making sure your body is optimally nourished and you are emotionally and psychologically supported.  That way any “kinks in the hose” can be seen as blessings along the way, and is a part of the continuum of birth that prepares you to surrender to the wild flow of birth. 

My husband and son love the metaphor of birth like having a poop. 

A big, giant poop. An enormous poop.  (You can imagine my 10 year old laughing like a goofball) Your body knows how to poop, but having the wrong person watching over your shoulder can absolutely make your body clench up and freeze. Your support team matters SO MUCH.  Check out my ebook The Joygasmic Birth Blueprint for more info about how to prepare yourself and your team and deal with common family related challenges. 

Your body is wise.  It knows what you need well before your labour begins and all the symptoms women experience are signs and signals of what needs to be resolved in order for them and their babies to thrive.  

Pregnancy is a journey that changes your life for the better and transforms you into an incredible mom. 

FOURTH TRIMESTER VAGINAL STEAM STUDY

In 2018 the Peristeam Hydrotherapy Institute commissioned a trial study to compare if there are any differences in postpartum recovery between a group of women who steam versus a group of women who do not steam. 

Pelvic exams were conducted 4 days postpartum, 8 days postpartum and 6 weeks postpartum. The information was collected between January to May of 2019.

  • The control group received no vaginal steams. 
  • The steam group received vaginal steam sessions on days 4 (after pelvic exam), 5, 6, 7 and 8. 

The vaginal steam sessions lasted for 15 minutes and were prepared using 2.5 cups of water and 3 tablespoons of an herbal formula which was the same for each woman.  Normally for postpartum women we recommend 30 days of consecutive steaming.  Learn more about Vaginal Steaming's history and benefits, or book a free consult

The full document is available here.  However it's a bit hard to read, so I've summarized the findings below.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Postpartum Bleeding to Resolve Quicker

The darker dots below represent the intensity of bleeding.  The Steam group resolved their postpartum bleeding quicker at each measurement point.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Tears Heal up to 5 weeks Quicker

On Day 8 while all participants had labia that were healing process, the steam group had 4 participants with fully healed labia. By the six week mark, all participants had fully healed labia.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Stitches Heal With less itching/Discomfort

The steam group had no healing discomfort at all after day 4. At the six week mark, the control group had 1 participant with itchy sutures, 3 participants with tender sutures and 1 participant with no healing discomfort. The steam group continued to have no healing discomfort

Vaginal Steaming Helps the Womb Return to Normal Size Quicker

By day 8, the fundal height (womb size) had reduced more than the control group.

Vaginal Steaming Helps Reduce Cramping 

The darker dots below represent the intensity of cramping as the womb contracts.  The Steam group had more intense cramping at day 4, but resolved their postpartum contractions quicker at each measurement point.

 

Vaginal Steaming Helps Hemorrhoid Pain

The vaginal steaming group experienced a significant reduction in hemorrhoids or pain from hemorrhoids. The control group experienced no change in their experience of hemorrhoids in 6 weeks.

AUTHORS DISCUSS RESULTS OF THE FOURTH TRIMESTER VAGINAL STEAM STUDY

This entire study was commissioned, researched, written and funded by women. A huge thank you to everyone who donated and made that possible.

Special Gratitude

SteamyChick.com for organizing the study and publishing the results.

Abner Nevarez, Adrienne Chamberlain, Aida Chaldranyan, Alicia Bostick, Alison Theriault, Alyssa Fahlman, Amanda Swan, Amanda Thompson, Amber Leitz, Amy Haynes, Andressa Taverna, Anne Marie Olbrot, Bellymama Midwifery, Bodywork by Bobbi, Caitlin Tyner, Caren Minery, Darren Howard, Debra Erickson, Deidre Mikolajcik, Eliza James, Elizabeth Grennille, Emily Adler, Emma Sartwell, Erica Stockton, Franciska Farkas, Hanna Sysalova, Heidi Kleinshmidt, Hustera LLC, Impact Wellness, Institute for Birth Healing, Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Benavides, Jessica Lipinski, Jill Tralka, Joe Bradley, Kate Coveney, Katrina McHugh, Kim Nelson, Kristen Hurvitz, Kristin Gonzalez, Lauren Lucas, Leah Grow, Leah Miller, Leiamoon, Lene Eriksen, Leviosa Communication, Light Footsteps LLC, Lise Hall, Lucy Mendelsson, Lynn Korst, Magamama, Manja Potocnik, Mary Harris, Meg Forbes, Melissa Hunter, Nancy Gayle Martin, Natasha Vavasour, Nehanda Reid, Nichole Ekman, Perfecx, Princesa Vitela, Psychosomatische Energie - und Körperarbeit, Rebecca Lanham, Rita Shertick, Robyn Comfort, Roxanne Yanke, Sankofa Empowerment LLC, Sara Slattery, Sara Vatore, Somatic Sexual Wholeness LLC, Steamy Chick, Stephanie Ohara, Teira Johnson, Thalia de Jesus Dain, The Apple, The Cuntsultant, Tiffany Wolf, Vanessa Arcara, Yoga & Yoga Retreats

Steaming Postpartum 101

This free eCourse will share with you everything you need to know to successfully use steaming to speed up your postpartum recovery. Plus 3 tips to make sure you actually are able to prioritize your self care and healing even with a new baby in arms! 

Put your name and email below to get access to the course. 

Why We Steam Postpartum

We steam postpartum because of the relaxing, nourishing, healing and warming effects.  Steaming has been documented as a traditional women's health practice in over 40 countries.  While practices and herbs used vary across the world, all of these cultures use it for postpartum.

Steaming Postpartum has been reported to:

  • Resolve postpartum bleeding faster
  • Reduce after pains and contractions
  • Encourage our wombs return to their normal shape and position.
  • Help with itching or healing of tears
  • Reverse hemorrhoids without invasive surgery
  • Help lift and tone the uterus and bladder prolapse
  • Support the nourishment of vaginal tissues with natural herbal plants 
  • Keep our periods away until our bodies are really ready to cycle again

It's a gentle, easy and nourishing practice.  Steaming is low cost preventative care that can be done at home with little or no supervision and little chance of negative outcomes. It's easy to learn, and then practice on your own.

Words From Steaming Women

How do you Vaginal Steam?

The simplest way to steam is to heat water until it is boiling or close to boiling.

If you're working with a practitioner they will consult with you on which herbs are most appropriate for your body and unique postpartum situation.

We steep the herbs for five to 10 minutes. When they're done steeping, we check for steam temperature and then sit over the steaming herbs or the boiling water until the steam has dissipated usually 10 minutes or up to 30 minutes as appropriate for your personal situation.

It can be done as simply as pouring boiling water into a metal or ceramic or glass bowl that you placed temporarily in the toilet and then sitting on the toilet seat. Or it can be done as luxuriously as purchasing your own Steam Box and cushion or renting one from your local practitioner.

Where were you trained?

I have completed the Peristeam Facilitator Certification, PFc from SteamyChick.com.

Peristeam hydrotherapy also known as vaginal steaming, is an ancient form of natural healing that has been used around the world by women for centuries. This gentle and relaxing therapy is done by sitting over a pot of steaming herbs using a stool or steam sauna. The healing steam softens and relaxes the cervix allowing the herbal properties to travel into the uterus. 

Steaming aids in healing and bringing relief to common physical discomforts, as well as the varied emotional landscape that women manage throughout their lives. This is full body healing that feels great, has many benefits and is very affordable to maintain.

Peristeaming is used to help treat a number of gynecological and emotional issues including but not limited to:

  • regulating menstrual cycles including relief from cramps, heavy flow, brown blood
  • endometriosis
  • relieving PMS
  • ovarian cysts
  • fibroids
  • hemorrhoids
  • postpartum healing
  • soothing infections such UTIs, yeast infections and BV
  • infertility
  • night sweats/hot flashes
  • bloating 
  • painful sex
  • anxiety and nervousness
  • sleep challenges
  • stress
  • low libido

What Culture does Vaginal Steaming come from?

From Mexico, to Chile, Sudan to Bali, women have been squatting or sitting over steaming herbs for thousands of years to help them masterfully manage their fertility, periods, births and postpartum.  Called Bajos in Central America, Chai-yok in China, Ratus or Gang Ganga in Indonesia, Yoni Prakshalanam in India as partof Ayurveda and vaginal steaming has been used all over Europe historically in Poland, Lithuania, Italy, France, Greece and many other countries. You can steam too!

In a traditional village this might have looked like digging a hole in the ground, filling it with coals and then placing a ceramic bowl full of steaming water into the hole in the ground and having the woman squat or sit on top of it.

In the modern terms that often looks like a handcrafted box/stool with a pot of herbs gently heating and steaming your most private parts. Imagine wearing a silk robe with a soft warm blanket wrapped around your shoulders so that your whole body is steamed and sweated.

The Finnish would often birth in the sauna and then steam and massage the mother afterwards.

The Moroccans have a traditional Hammam practice where several days after the birth both the baby and the mother are wrapped in warm clothes and brought to the communal bath house. There the mother is bathed ritualistically washing away her old self. The mother is completely pampered while she is steamed, massaged and with oils and then dressed by her friends and family. A helpful aunty, sister or grandma would be in the room holding her baby while she receives love and adoration from her community. A ceremonial feast finishes the event, then she and  baby are then wrapped so thickly so that no cold could get in and brought home. 

Traditional cultures understood how important it was to keep mothers and babies warm. The postpartum is nutritionally a time of depletion because of  that is the postpartum feeding them warm and nourishing foods and steaming.

What will I need to Steam?

Steaming postpartum can be as simple as boiling water yourself once a day and finding time to sit on the toilet either holding your baby or having somebody hold them for you.

It can be as luxurious as having somebody come to your home and prepare your steam herbs for you, then having 30 minutes to yourself to enjoy the steam while your practitioner baby wears your baby, maybe even warms up delicious soup for you and your family while you take the time to steam, relax and heal your body.

We want to make vaginal steaming available to all women who desire to experience this incredible healing potential and so have created a short postpartum vaginal steaming eCourse that will walk you through all the information that you need to do this on your own. If you would like personalized support, please choose one of the packages below and we will be in contact to create your personalized herbal plan and rental package. 

You'll need:

  • Yoni steaming pot that is ceramic, glass or metal.
  • pot or bowl to heat water in
  • your herbs 
  • some relaxing music. 
  • You may also wish to have a designated house coat or blanket to use as a cloak to keep yourself warmer if you are recommended to use the advanced steam. 

How much time does Steaming take?

I personally think steaming should be dedicated relaxation time for mom and that you deserve to take as long as you want.  In reality, we have other kids, kitchens to clean and other work to do.

A normal relaxation based session including prep and cleanup can take 20-45 minutes. 

If you're really quick about it or have help from a co-parent or postpartum doula to setup/cleanup, it can be as quick as just sitting over your steam pot for the 10 minutes it takes to do a mild session.

How much does it cost?

Because steaming is such a powerful tool, and we believe it can help most women postpartum we've made it super easy for you to get started.

If you're steaming at home with filtered water there's literally no cost to steam and all the instructions are available as free content as a teaser for you from our larger Joygasmic Postpartum eCourse.

If you're steaming with herbs it's important to do a consultation to confirm that the herbs you are using are appropriate for your unique body. A 30 day supply is $60 (less than many people spend daily on coffee and way less than a pelvic physiotherapy appointment)

You can provide your own herbs, or purchase a package that includes herbs.  

Compared to the cost of hemorrhoid surgery, the discomfort of after pains, vaginal tear challenges or the long term rehabilitation process that is involved in healing prolapse, a 30 day steaming setup including herbs and consultation is $179.  This is a very small cost to pay for returning your vagina (and your sex life) to health as soon as possible.

DIY Steam

You want to steam, but need to keep costs down, and have support to do it at home.

$

49

  • Consultation to choose the best herbs for your body

  • 30 day steam plan

  • Steaming DIY setup instructions

  • 3 month checkup

  • Check in calls on Day 3 and 30

  • Yoni Steam Thrown Rental

  • Herbs mailed to your home

  • 12 Month Herbal Steam Plan

  • Email or text access for 45 days postpartum

  • Joygasmic Postpartum eCourse

In Person Luxury Postpartum Steaming

For the woman who know she needs more hands on support, or who has experienced a challenging first birth and wants better for her second 

$

450

  • Consultation to choose the best herbs for your body

  • Herbs mailed to your home

  • Customized 30 day steam plan

  • Steaming DIY and Advanced setup instructions

  • Check in calls on Day 3 and 30

  • Email or text access for 45 days postpartum

  • Yoni Steam Thrown Rental Included (where available)

  • In home delivery of steaming setup

  • Shamanic Yoni Healing Ritual

  • Closing the Bones Ceremony (in person where avaliable)

  • 12 Month Herbal Steam Plan

  • 12 months of nourishing &  "period preventing" steaming herbs

  • 3 and 12 month checkups

  • Joygasmic Postpartum eCourse

 

The Joygasmic Mama Membership Includes access to:

  • All the video episodes of the podcast,
  • Bonus content from the podcast guests
  • The Bulletproof Mom eCourse
  • Finding your Joygasm
  • Joygasmic Alchemy (transforming challenging emotions into pleasure)
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